If you relate with any of the following, this survival guide is for you:
“I used to care about church, now it just feels so fake.”
“I still want God in my life, but church isn’t doing it for me anymore.”
“I’m tired of the obsession with big buildings, celebrity leaders and hipster worship artists.”
“Why can’t I just find a safe community that will deal with my real questions and won’t judge me?”
“I can’t handle evangelicals and their politics.”
If you feel more than a little let down by your experience of church, welcome to the club. There are many who feel the way you do. But what now? I want to offer this short guide (series of blogs) to help you in very practical ways to take steps back toward genuine faith in God and real community without the need to find a new church or even complain to your pastor. Are you ready?
First-off a little theology. Church, in its essence, isn’t a building. It’s a community of people—normal people. Therefore, changing our experience of church isn’t about better sermons, better music or better programs. It’s about better relationships.
If you remember all the way back to Genesis, when things went bad, four relationships experienced a fracturing.
- with God
- with ourselves
- with each other
- with our world
The role of church is to help us restore broken relationships. Really. That’s about it. That’s why Jesus came. And that’s what church is supposed to be all about too.
So…if church isn’t helping you…
- know God deeper
- be more ok with yourself
- develop safe community
- restore justice to your neighborhood and city
…then church isn’t doing its most basic job description.
If that’s your situation, you have a choice to make. You can complain. You can leave. Or… you can take positive steps in your own life to begin to restore these four broken relationships.
It all starts with you and God.
You were meant to live in communion with your creator. That’s how life works best. That’s how we find a sense of real purpose in the world. That’s where we find true contentment. The good news is, you don’t need great preaching, great music or anything else to find fulfillment in God.
There is a popular myth in the church that we need Sunday morning to “feed” us if we want to feel close to God. While a good talk can inspire us or teach us, true spiritual food is available to us Monday through Saturday as well. Centuries of followers of Jesus being spiritually nourished by private and community spiritual practices like scripture reading, prayer, meditation, nature and service prove that preaching is only a small piece of the total spiritual pie.
If you don’t have personal spiritual practices, no preacher is going to do it for you. If fact, for many of us, they just get in the way. We grow too dependent. We expect all of our spiritual nourishment to come from the church stage and we never learn how to feed ourselves.
What am I saying? I’m saying that you don’t want to end up spiritually living in your parents’ basement when you are 38, yelling from down the shag-carpet staircase, “Hey mom, can you bring me my Capri Sun?! I’m trying to become a level 28 wizard and don’t have time to come up to the fridge!”
You don’t want that!
So, what can you do instead? If you are feeling far from God, here are a few simple practices you can do to get your own spiritual drink from your own spiritual fridge.
1. Scripture Reading
Find a regular time and place and five days a week, read a chapter of the Bible. I’d suggest you start with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and maybe add in some of the others once you are ready. If you aren’t very inspired by church, it’s time to let Jesus inspire you himself.
I have a time in the morning and a particular chair. I go there to be with God every day. Yes, I miss some days. That’s ok. It’s not about being religious, it’s about reconnecting with God.
2. Meditation and Prayer
Maybe you want to meditate on a scripture you read. Or maybe you just want to experience peace and quiet for five or ten minutes. Either way, take some time every day to clear the clutter from our task-oriented culture and just stop. If you find it difficult to silence the to-do list in your brain, take a notepad with you and write down tasks as they come up. This will give your brain permission to let that task go for the moment, so you are able to focus.
Remember, prayer doesn’t mean we have to spend all of our time talking. Take time to listen. If it’s hard, be patient with yourself.
Borrow a page from the monks and their rules of life and create some boundaries in your own life for prayer and meditation. Carve out space in life to connect with your creator. You will be glad you did.
3. Serve Someone in a Practical Way
Jesus told us that we would find him when we care for the poor, those in prison, those with real needs (Matthew 25). We are surrounded by people every day who have physical, emotional and social needs—but are we paying attention? If you want to encounter Jesus, take time to love a fellow human. There is nothing more spiritual than love. It will help them, and it will connect you to God in a way that nothing else can.
There you go. Three easy practices to add to any day. Prepare to be surprised how much these simple practices will change your whole outlook not only on church, but on all of life. More than that, they will help you stay connected to the most important relationship you have—you and God.
So, what do you say? Are you ready to start?
Next time we’ll talk about restoring our relationship with ourselves. A lot of ink has been spilt trying to help humans love themselves, but here’s reality—if you don’t know God’s love for you, you will never be able to adequately love yourself.
More on that next time.
Matt